“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” -Rumi
I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. In the same way that some people grow up knowing they want to be a nurse, a cook, a teacher, or anything else they can imagine…I’ve simply always wanted to be a mom. In high school, I remember being asked to write a letter to myself about who I wanted to be in five to ten years. I remember sketching a classroom, a home, and kids because even then I knew that’s exactly what I wanted if I were lucky enough to obtain it.
In all my years of working with children and falling in love with countless precious souls, I could not have imagined the bond that’s formed between mother and child in the way that I’ve experienced with my two boys. Though motherhood is not made of all rainbows and butterflies, a hell of a lot of it is. It’s quite a miracle that women can birth humans into this world and they grow up to love you back, even when you’re at your very worst. While this has been by far one of the hardest weeks for us as a family and I nearly cried feeling as though I had failed my son earlier this week, four days since we made a big change for Jude I’ve seen my little light shine brighter than he has in a long time. Today, on what some people may call it “my” day I wanted to capture the joy that’s spewing out of the one I love at this very moment. It’s funny how as Jude gets older, my views on motherhood continue to change. All I wanted to do was to wake up this morning and make Juju his favorite breakfast. I wanted to see his eyebrows raise in delight as he asked me in Chinese if I was his favorite breakfast dish. All I wanted to do today was to be a mom. I just want my two boys to know that I really would do anything for them.
You both have fulfilled my dreams in more ways than I could’ve every fathomed. Thank you for making me your mama and for bringing out the very best in me.